Maintaining Self-Care to Avoid Burn Out with Chelsea Ackerman, CSC
Have you ever tried to pour from an empty cup? Join Lindsey and Chelsea Ackerman, a Certified School Counselor, for tips on how to treat yourself with self-care. As therapists, putting others before ourselves sometimes seems to be instinctive. Yet to be truly effective therapists, spouses, parents, friends and even children, we need to find the time and ways to make sure that we are happy and fulfilled. Enjoy this enlightening and informative SPEDtalk.
Lindsey:
Good morning, Facebook. Hi. How’s everybody doing today? I am so excited. Welcome to SPEDtalk. I’m your host Lindsey Kucich, lead mental health therapist at Global Teletherapy. And today we have a show that I think a lot of you can appreciate today. So thanks for joining. I see all of you coming on. So hi, Olivia. Hi, Janet. Hi, Elana. Oh, it’s so good to see all of our followers. Feel free to take a moment and share out this video. We want to reach as many people as possible. So share it to your personal page, share to a group. If you’re with any other therapist, feel free to put that out there so that we can get as many people to watch. This a great show today.
Lindsey:
If you are new to the show, don’t be shy. Post in the comments where you’re watching from and feel free to ask any questions. We want to know what you’re thinking about, how today’s topic is going to relate to you. So feel free, definitely interactive. Also, if you’re watching, put it in the comments #TeamLive. Or if you’re watching the replay #TeamReplay. If you’ve ever missed one of our shows, I don’t know how you could have missed me. I’m always Tuesdays. Just kidding. No, if you’ve ever missed one of our shows, then you can find them on our YouTube channel. Did you know we had a YouTube channel? We do. So go find us on YouTube. Just look for Global Teletherapy. Also follow us on Instagram and LinkedIn. Just search for Global Teletherapy. Super easy to find us, right? No issues there. So, Oh my gosh. Hi everybody. Marisol, you’ve joined us as well. Heather, hi. And Patrice. Hello all of you. I’m so excited. Also my … Patricia, hi welcome. You’re also in long beach, California. So close to me. Oh my gosh. You know, I’m a California girl.
Lindsey:
Alright. Well, today is still May though this month feels like it has been flying by. So since it is still May, it is mental health awareness month. So I wanted to chat with you today about making sure you’re taking care of your mental health. So anyone feeling overly stressed right now, maybe? So besides COVID happening, typically schools are super stressed out anyways because it’s the end of the year. It’s coming to a close, we’ve got deadlines that are approaching. We’re struggling to manage our time. Does that sound familiar to anybody? So I thought today would be a great opportunity to talk about managing the stress and juggling the multiple hats that you’re having to wear right now with the added stress of COVID so we can avoid that burnout, right?
Lindsey:
So our guest today is Chelsea Ackerman. She is a certified school counselor and she has worked in the mental health field for about 14 years. Oh my gosh. That’s such a long time. Her passion has always been wanting to help others and she has had to wear many different hats to feel that passion. So this is why she’s a perfect person to talk to today about today’s topic. So Chelsea has been with Global Teletherapy for just over a year. She loves what she does and she loves being allowed to have the best of both worlds. So the opportunity to help others daily while being able to be a stay at home mom, definitely juggling a lot of hats there. So currently she’s residing in Pennsylvania. She enjoys spending time with her family and going to church, watching movies, outdoor activities. So show your love with heart and she likes to be … give her a warm welcome. So Chelsea, thank you. And welcome to the show. We are so excited to have you as our guest.
Chelsea:
Thank you. Hello.
Lindsey:
Well welcome. I see a lot of other people joining us. So we’ve got Christine. Hi Christine. Jill has joined us, Megan. Oh my gosh. Hi everybody. So Chelsea say hi to your fans.
Chelsea:
Hello everybody. Good morning.
Lindsey:
So let’s talk about this. We’re just going to dive in here. Describe what is a typical day for you? What did it look like before COVID and what does it look like now? How much more stressed do you think that we all have?
Chelsea:
Well, crazy then and crazy now. Honestly, prior to COVID it was pretty hectic. I have four little ones at home and only one in school. So working from home and then balancing all of that prior to COVID was definitely a balancing act, but with a little more structure. Then COVID hit, my husband is home now too. So that’s one more factor that we’re playing working back and forth between who’s going to work and who’s watching the kids. So yeah, it’s been very different and very challenging, which I’m sure a lot of people are experiencing as well.
Lindsey:
Yeah. I’m sure there’s a ton of people who have probably similar stories to you and then there’s other people that might not be as affected. So I know I’m one of them that’s really not as affected. I don’t have kids at home. I have my dog and he’s very needy, he’s always been needy. And then I’ve been working from home for almost a year now, 100%. I haven’t been outside the home. So my life pretty much stayed the same as far as my in house routine, which is very great.
Lindsey:
I know a lot of people talk about how we’re all in this together, which we are. And then there’s this whole thing about we’re all in the same boat. And it’s like, “Well, my boat might be a little different than your boat.” So we are all in the same storm, but our boats are different. And so you are the captain of your ship. And that means that you have to run your ship maybe a little differently than the person next to you, for sure. Right?
Chelsea:
Absolutely.
Lindsey:
If that stress level has changed, which it probably has, and your lifestyle has changed, your boat’s different. What do you think adults are sacrificing to juggle it all and all these added duties? Like you mentioned that now your husband’s home and that’s another duty in itself. What do you think we’re sacrificing when we’re trying to manage all of this?
Chelsea:
Oh, definitely ourselves. I think that’s a struggle even when we’re not dealing with a lot of added chaos and added things going on. I mean, it’s always something that, especially in this profession we’re helpers. So we always want to put everyone else first. We don’t take the time that we need to put ourselves first. So that self-care piece is definitely, I’m sure, especially for me right now, I can personally say that piece is pretty tough to fit in so.
Lindsey:
I definitely see that as being something that we are sacrificing. It’s the easiest thing to sacrifice, “Oh, I’ll just get to it later. I’ll do this. I got to take care of the kids first. I got to take care of this next,” right? And then even with school and we are so passionate about our jobs that with our clients and be like, “Oh, I’ve got to make sure I have this right lesson for them and make sure that this is put together.” And so we’re sacrificing ourselves to try to help other people. And then what does that lead to? Burnout, of course. And you can’t be all things to all people. So we do have to make sure that we put ourselves first. So let’s talk about self-care and why it’s so important. What are some of the benefits of self-care?
Chelsea:
Definitely one of the benefits is if we’re doing well, then we’re able to better help our clients, our families, whomever we need to be helping or assisting. It also is preventing compassion fatigue. I mean, that is one of the main things, especially in what we do. We do a lot of different types of work, a lot of different types of therapy and it gets tiring. So being able to incorporate things for ourselves throughout our day, even if it’s something little where we can just take some time for ourselves, we’re helping prevent that. One of the things that I … when I was looking through some of my notes and stuff, and one of the little sayings I loved is, “You can’t pour from an empty cup.” So if we are empty ourselves, we aren’t able to give to anyone else. So that it’s not being selfish, it’s taking care of yourself is actually a professional responsibility that we have as helping professionals.
Lindsey:
I think that’s an important piece, for sure, that people need to realize. Like you said, they feel selfish. They feel guilty for taking that time, but you can’t pour from an empty cup and how you fill your cup is self-care. So treat yourself with self-care and then you’re going to be able to care for others. But you mentioned something as well, like it is busy and things are different. So how do we incorporate self-care into a day when it feels like the day can’t hold anymore? What kind of ways do you structure your day?
Chelsea:
I think it’s still good that we go back to our basic ways that we were doing it before. And it may look a little differently, but creating that routine or that schedule. Writing things down, I personally have to write out my day or else I won’t follow it. And I have little check boxes. So I put down, and including myself care for the day, I’ll put in what I’m going to plan on doing. And each day that looks a little different for me because my days are a little crazy and they vary. But I think what is important is trying to keep that routine and structure, even if it may look different now than it did prior to even COVID. Making sure that you’re planning breaks. This is another area I really struggle with because I schedule my sessions back to back pretty much during the day, just because I have a sitter in the house. So I want to try and get that done.
Chelsea:
And then I have days where that is definitely a struggle for me because at the end of it, I’m tired from work. So trying to plan in small breaks, even if it’s a few minutes to just get up, to move around. Working from home, one of the toughest things, is having a start and end time to your day. Making sure that even though you are working at home, that you can still treat it like going to the office. That you have that start time and you have that end time. And then at the end of the day, you’re transitioning.
Chelsea:
And I know that’s another very difficult thing that I am still learning as I’ve come home to work from home. I’m not getting in the car to drive someplace after work and having that time to decompress. So whatever that looks like for you, whether it’s leaving the house for a few minutes to go get a coffee or just going for a walk and then coming back and then you’re transitioned into your evening or your time with your family. So I think those are all things that we’ve already had in place. And I think they’re things that we just need to continue that they just may look different right now.
Lindsey:
No, and I think that’s a good point that you bring up in regards to how to structure the day. It is so easy for us to, “I’ll just check my email really quick. It’s on my phone.” How simple is it just boop, boop. Put it down, we start and we end because otherwise you just keep giving and giving and giving and then you’re not stopping. So I think that’s a really important piece.
Lindsey:
So I have a question to all those therapists watching right now, who is guilty of checking your email or doing other work related tasks when you’re off the clock? Are you guys even scheduling, right? I’m totally guilty. What about this? Who’s scheduling their breaks? I know an area of weakness I need to improve upon is scheduling those breaks in. I’m like, “I can do it. I’ll just end early or I’ll just wait until somebody cancels and then I’ll run to the bathroom and I’ll have my lunch break.” No, schedule that in. And so I really have been working diligently to make sure that I actually on my calendar put in breaks and then it forces me to shut it off and go take care of me.
Lindsey:
So I think those are really important tips. So all you therapists out there, Chelsea just gave us some amazing tips to incorporate at least those two, your start time, your end time, and scheduling those breaks in. And let’s see if that helps just manage your workload. I’m still guilty. Patricia’s like, “Yeah, I’m guilty. Right here.” Right? Elana, yep. Right there, Erica, oh yeah.
Lindsey:
We got a lot of work to do on self-care, I think. Oh my gosh you guys. Well, okay. So that’s just a start up structuring that we can do. But now that we’ve scheduled this break, what are we supposed to do in there? Let’s talk about some strategies of self-care. So Chelsea, I know you’ve got a handout and everybody just know that this handout is going to be available after the show. You’ll be able to access it on the therapist hub in our file section, but let’s take a look at what she has today and then go over this information with us.
Lindsey:
Alright Chelsea, talk to us about this handout.
Chelsea:
So I wanted to create something that was going to be simple, something that was going to just kind of help give some different ideas. And we all know these and sometimes they’re such simple ideas that we don’t maybe necessarily consider them as self-care. Things like creating a sunshine file, I don’t know how many people have done this. This was something I started to do when I worked in family based because I would get a lot of stuff from my clients. And so we would compile a book of them. And when you’re having a rough day or something, you can look back through those. And those are really, just really uplifting.
Chelsea:
Doing things that you love, finding something that you really enjoy doing. I enjoy painting. I actually painted the picture behind me, but it’s not something I always take time to do. And so it’s really important just to find those things that you’re willing to do because I think we forget that those are the things that are helping us fill this self-care piece.
Chelsea:
Not skimping on sleep and nutrition. I know we hear this all the time about fueling our bodies with good stuff.
Chelsea:
One of my hardest pieces that I’ve had to learn doing teletherapy was knowing when to say no, knowing your limits. One of the things that was hard for me starting this was rescheduling and rescheduling and rescheduling clients who would miss sessions. And finally, I had to learn to say no because it was going into my personal time and my family time.
Chelsea:
Taking a break from electronics, which is really hard. And sometimes that is a very welcome thing for us who are spending our days on the computer and doing teletherapy.
Chelsea:
Exercising and doing mindfulness or meditation. These are all real simple things that we can incorporate into our day. We just, I think we all have a hard time taking that time for ourselves.
Lindsey:
I think these are fantastic. Our day is already busy, right? You’re like, “What? There’s no way I can fit anything in there.” But you guys look at this. Is there something on this list that you could easily incorporate into your day?
Lindsey:
I think saying no is one of the hardest, but most powerful ones that we can take on. I know a lot of us really don’t want our students to miss a session when they have to, but sometimes we can’t just keep altering our schedules for them. When we shift one, it has a trickle-down effect. And so really understanding and setting those boundaries with our clients or with our supervisors that ask maybe a little bit too much. But setting those boundaries, I think is a really key piece of that self-care.
Lindsey:
I like this idea of the sunshine box. I think that’s fantastic too. Also some of us don’t even know what we like. Some of us struggle with that identity piece, right? We’ve been taking care of so many other people that we’ve forgotten what makes us happy. And I think that’s really important for everybody to self-reflect, take that time to meditate and really ponder about these.
Lindsey:
So Chelsea, thank you for this list of ideas. They’re so simple, yet they’re going to be so powerful in helping everybody. And so one of the things that I’ve definitely done in my meditation and figuring out self-reflection. As you guys see, as the slides go back and forth, you’re probably wondering what is this background that is behind there that is this electric blue. So Richard Shaw, since you are in Long Beach, comment below if you know what this is and what this picture is and if you were lucky enough to see it.
Lindsey:
I know a lot of the therapists, I’ve talked to you guys about one of my favorite pastime activities that I enjoy, which is going to the beach. But the red tide has come in. Has anybody heard of what this red tide is? It causes these blue bioluminescent waves that turn the ocean electric neon blue as you see the waves crashing into the shore. It is the most phenomenal site I’ve ever seen and it’s very relaxing. And so going down to the beach, practicing social distancing, of course. But you guys it’s totally fine. It has ended now. It lasted for like five, six weeks. It was for a long time. So definitely something that I did twice to make sure I had self-care as well. So if you are very curious to see just Google the images, I tried to take pictures and I don’t have a fancy enough camera for that, but those that love photography that’s a great self-care activity. Go take pictures and things like that.
Lindsey:
You can totally check it out on my Facebook page and see some of those or just Google image bioluminescence waves. Yes, and Patricia, you’ve heard of them. They look amazing and beautiful. I wish you would have seen them, it’s great self-care as well. But there’s definitely other things that … so as adults, we need to find ways that we take care of ourselves. So Chelsea, what are some ways that you teach about self-care? And then what age do you think we should start practicing self-care?
Chelsea:
Honestly, at home, the way that I teach it is doing it. My kids and I, we do stuff together or even as a family. Trying to find those activities that we all enjoy just to take that break. And then also just making sure that they know that these are things that they can do or helping them, my kids especially find things … because even kids need to decompress during the day. And especially right now, things are so crazy and different that taking that time or helping them find those different self-care strategies at home have been very helpful. So we do a lot of baking at my house. My daughter loves to bake. So we kind of use that as one of our strategies.
Chelsea:
And I don’t think there’s an early enough age to start learning this. I wish it was something that I was taught at a young age. I think as soon as you can, you just lead by example. I think it’s a matter of, you’re doing it and just explaining it to your kids or to your family, to other friends and adults that … to help them actually incorporate it in their homes too.
Lindsey:
I think that’s a great piece of information where you said that it’s through role modeling. It’s not what’s taught, it’s what’s caught. And so making sure it’s incorporated in your life will then show others to learn how to do it in theirs. And that way they’re at the younger ages and they can just start practicing these things. I know we talk about infants. When they start crying, they have to learn how to self soothe. It’s the same thing, we learn about self-soothing and self-care all at the same time.
Lindsey:
So role modeling and I love that you mentioned explaining it to you children as you’re doing it. I think so many times we just go into autopilot and we’re just doing things without giving the reason why. And if you tell your child like, “No, this is my time and you have your time,” and you set it up that really would help them. And I do love the ideas of doing self-care together. Sometimes it appears that, “Oh, I have to just do it by myself,” … go for a walk with other people. It’s okay to bring people into your happiness activities.
Lindsey:
So put in the comments, you guys, let me know what are some of your happiness activities, your self-care activities, what do you do? How do you practice it with your families? Are you incorporating it? So it’s really nice to incorporate it with the family and with others. And so if every age should learn how to do this, how are you teaching this in your sessions with your students? What do you do to encourage them to incorporate it in their days as well?
Chelsea:
So one of the things I’ve started doing is at the very beginning of starting to meet with my kids is we do a lot of rapport building, which everyone I’m sure does. One thing that I try to make sure that I do is note things of interest for them, things that they are really into or things that they enjoy. That way later down the road, when you start working on this self-care piece, that’s kind of where I start.
Chelsea:
So I have some kiddos who absolutely love to draw. I have ones that … one loves to write. So those were some of the self-care strategies that I started with them to help them build a routine and keeping it consistent. Because knowing that it’s something that they already enjoy doing, it’s just helping them do it on a daily basis.
Chelsea:
So one of the other things that I do to keep myself accountable as well is I’ll do challenges with them. So we see who can do the most days between our sessions of doing self-care, no matter what it is. And then we come back and we talk about it and we obviously process the, how are we feeling? What did it feel like the days that you forgot to do it or didn’t do it? I think that, just incorporating it in that way too, and helping them become more self-aware of what they’re feeling and when they need to start implementing these things is helpful too.
Lindsey:
I think that’s a great idea, focusing, starting with an interest survey with them. Starting with, what is it that they like? What do they enjoy? And then I love the challenge. Who doesn’t like a good challenge? Then you can compete with them and be like, “Oh.” And what’s really good is because then they’re going to be able to see that you’re not perfect because there’s going to be days you’re going to report that you did not do what you wanted to do and let them see the struggle of and the importance of having the routine. So that way they recognize, “Oh, that’s why you have it in your schedule,” or modeling to our clients as well. We are all human. We all make mistakes.
Lindsey:
I love Megan that you said that you do the gardening with the kids. Oh my gosh, what a great teaching moment. That’s a great idea. I do not have a green thumb. We joke about, I have a black thumb. I don’t know how that happened, but everything I plant dies. So no. But I would love for someone to tell me about gardening. I think that’s fantastic. I will live vicariously through you and your family. Thank you. Send pictures. Flowers are pretty, I love them. Just don’t trust me with them. But definitely some really great ideas.
Lindsey:
So Chelsea, one last thing is there’s so much stuff that’s thrown at us. People say, download this app and that app and use this book. And sometimes we don’t even know where to go. Do you have any great apps that you personally like to use or that you recommend to anybody or a book or somebody who’s brand new, but wants fresh ideas? Who do you recommend?
Chelsea:
Honestly, my resources kind of vary per kiddo and what I use. I just started using the Smiling Mind app for mindfulness with a student and I’ve really enjoyed it. I’ve kind of done it with him. So that was one of the apps and I’m not a huge app person. So I don’t have a ton of different apps for different stuff. I do have actually a worksheet that I will share with you after Lindsey, that I had found that is very helpful for helping structure in our sessions with our kids to help them just kind of brainstorm different self-care and also putting in that support piece. So I’ll share that resource with you as well.
Lindsey:
Yeah. We’ll share all those resources on our therapist hub so everyone can get access to it. But if you’re watching and you have an app that you absolutely love and that you want to share, just put that in the comments and everybody’s interested in downloading. I know some of the big ones are Calm and Headspace. Those are great apps as well. But if there’s anything else that you guys have run into, feel free to share that with us. Well Chelsea, thank you so much for being our guest today. I really enjoyed this topic of self-care. Do you have any closing thoughts or any words of wisdom that you’d like to share with our therapists that are watching?
Chelsea:
Just make sure you take time for yourself. I think we all need to make sure that we’re doing that. So schedule it in, do something today.
Lindsey:
I love it. That’s a challenge everybody, do something today. So thank you, Chelsea. I appreciate you and everything that you had to share with us. It’s been great having you.
Chelsea:
Thank you.
Lindsey:
So that is your challenge today is that you are going to find some way to do self-care. And that definitely brings us into when we are at our best, then we can be at our best for everybody else. So remember, find ways that you can be kind first and find ways that you can spread that warmth and that joy that you want to give to the world. So everybody enjoy the rest of your day. And we will see you in a couple weeks for our next show on executive functioning. So stay tuned.
