If you are reading this then you are on the way to achieving mindfulness! Join Lindsey and GT’s Layla Providente, MA, NCSP and learn what mindfulness is, and more importantly, what it is not. No matter how busy you may be, Layla has great tips on how to develop mindfulness tools. Layla provides simple and effective ways to cultivate a quality of life that embraces acceptance, calm and wisdom. This refreshing and helpful episode is a great start to Lindsey’s second season of SPEDtalk!
Lindsey:
Good morning, Facebook. How is everybody doing today? I am so excited to be here, to kick of Global Teletherapy’s Season 2 of SPEDtalk. I’m your host, Lindsey Kucich, school psychologist out in sunny California. Thank you guys so much, for joining us on today’s show, as we talk about mindfulness and what it really means.
Lindsey:
But before I introduce you to our guest today, please take a minute and share this video, so that we can reach as many people as possible. And don’t forget to comment, and tell me where you’re watching from. If you’re watching the replay, also comment #teamreplay. And if this is your first time watching, you can catch up on Season 1 episodes on Global Teletherapy’s YouTube channel.
Lindsey:
You definitely want to subscribe to our YouTube channel, so that you can say up to date on all the tips that we share. You’ll want to follow us on our Facebook page, as well, Instagram and LinkedIn accounts, so that you can get access to all of the content, which includes resources and blogs, and our new vlog. Just search for Global Teletherapy.
Lindsey:
So all of my returning fans, what do you guys think about our new intro and our stage set? Isn’t it so cool? So comment and let me know what your thoughts are. And I just want to give a quick shout out to all of our fans that are watching, so thank you Gabby for joining us. And I see that Bernadette, you’ve joined us, as well. Abby, Olivia, Elana. Oh my gosh. I love all you guys, so thank you so much for joining. Share this video out, so all of our friends can watch at home, as well, and learn some great tips. And Stacy, I see that you’re watching, too. So thanks for joining us.
Lindsey:
Well, allow me to introduce you to our amazing guest today. Layla Providente is a certified school psychologist in New York, and she’s also certified in California, with over 10 years of experience. She has been working with Global Teletherapy since 2019. Layla holds an Advanced Degree in Leadership for Social and Emotional Learning, in addition to being Koru Mindfulness teacher. And that was developed at Duke University, and is currently the only evidence-based mindfulness program, specifically designed for emerging adults.
Lindsey:
Layla’s approach to teaching mindfulness is trauma-informed and person-centered. So let’s just give her a warm welcome, as she joins us as our first guest for Season 2. I’m so excited. Layla, welcome to the show.
Layla:
Hi, Lindsey. Thank you so much, for having me. I’m so excited to be here, kicking off Season 2 with you. How are you, today?
Lindsey:
This is so exciting. I love it. So we all want to know a lot of information here, about mindfulness. Mindfulness is the new buzzword, right? We hear a lot of professionals using it to describe different things, some which may not be accurate. So I’m hoping that you can tell us a little bit more about what it is not. What are some of the information that we have out there, that is wrong?
Layla:
Yeah, sure, absolutely. So I think that when people hear the term mindfulness, they may already have this image in their head. And it could be somebody sitting cross-legged with their eyes closed, in this blissed-out state. And so, I think that brings us to myth number one, that mindfulness is relaxing. Really, that’s an unrealistic expectation.
Layla:
Mindfulness is about paying attention to whatever your experience is, in the present moment. And so, sometimes moments are unpleasant and that’s okay. With practice, we may become less reactive and more at peace with our thoughts and feelings. But often times, our busy minds can be quite confronting.
Layla:
And so, with that being said, that brings us into myth number two, that mindfulness is going to clear our thoughts and stop our thoughts, and we’re going to have this blank mind. And this is definitely one of the biggest misconceptions, that we have to stop our minds from thinking. Our mind exists to think. It’s an automatic function. So our heart beats, our stomach digests, our mind thinks. Mindfulness allows us to relate to our thoughts, differently. So during mindfulness, thoughts and feelings are welcomed, we recognize them, and allow them to pass without judgment or attachment. So we’re not suspending our thoughts, but we’re suspending our judgments about our thoughts.
Layla:
And so, with all of that, it sounds like mindfulness can take a lot of time. And that brings us to myth number three, that mindfulness is time consuming. And I hear this a lot from our students, that they just don’t have the time to practice mindfulness. Really, it can be practiced at any time for any amount of time. Mindfulness, it’s a quality of life. And so, in order to cultivate that quality of life, you may have heard about meditation. And sometimes, mindfulness and meditation are used interchangeably. But really, mindfulness is not meditation.
Layla:
Meditation is the practice of setting an intention to spend a period of time, bringing our focus back to our present moment experience, over and over and over again. It’s kind of like weightlifting. When you start out exercising and you want to be able to bench 200 pounds, you’re not going to start out lifting 200 pounds right away. You’re going to get a 10 pound weight and build up from there.
Layla:
And so, meditation really is the practice that will cultivate mindfulness. And I think that with all of these myths that are circulating out there, we’ve heard in the media and in our schools, this watered-down version. So that’s why I’m so excited to be here, talking about all of this with you, today.
Lindsey:
Thank you so much. I appreciate all of that. Those are some great tips and information. Definitely, some things that maybe a lot of people didn’t really understand, or needed some clarification. So if that’s not what mindfulness is, what is a good definition of mindfulness?
Layla:
I like to think of mindfulness as paying attention to your present moment experience. Having compassion for whatever that may be, and not judging it and expecting it to be a certain way. So it’s definitely about focus and paying attention to whatever’s going on for us, at any moment in time.
Lindsey:
I love it. Just being in the moment and being aware. Being okay with what’s going on, even if your moment is full of chaos, which my life really is. That it’s okay to just be aware of it.
Lindsey:
So I would love for you to show us, and walk us through a really quick mindfulness. I think all of us need to just come right into this, so let’s go through one of your activities.
Layla:
Yeah, sure. I think the simplest thing would be just to take a one minute breath. Focusing on the breath can be really uncomfortable for a lot of people. So if that doesn’t work for you, please feel free to focus on maybe the sensations in your feet or your hands. And you don’t have to close your eyes, you can leave them open if that’s uncomfortable for you, as well.
Layla:
But just settle in, and gently begin to locate where your breath is, or where those sensations are. And think about where do you feel these sensations most in your body, right now? And just practice noticing when your mind wanders, because your mind is always going to wander. You can even say to yourself, “Wandering.” And then gently bring your attention back to the breath, and just notice it coming in and going out.
Layla:
And that was a perfect moment of mindfulness.
Lindsey:
That was amazing. I feel much calmer. I think that there’s so many benefits to that, as well. So, that seemed like that was really easy to do. I’m wondering, well, how soon should we be teaching and incorporating mindfulness strategies with students? Are there different activities for different age groups? Is it too soon to start? What would you say is something we should do, when we’re thinking about the age of students?
Layla:
So really, I mean, there’s all different age-appropriate activities for practicing mindfulness and meditation. But there’s no right time to start. Typically, when working with students, I introduce a mindfulness skill without even labeling it that, when we first start our session. And it’s really just, taking a moment to settle in and start your session off, focused and being present for that.
Layla:
So there are definitely many different activities that we can do with younger students, where we turn our mindfulness skills into games. But really, these activities can be used for students or people of all ages. I put together some slides that we can go through, and most of these, you’ll be able to use with any of the students that you’re working with.
Lindsey:
Awesome. And everybody watching, be aware that you can get access to all these slides and the myth sheet, as well, after the show. Just make sure you’re a member of our Therapist Hub. That way, we know that it’s accessed for therapists, and then you can get additional resources there, as well.
Lindsey:
And I do know, Candice, you had asked a question in regards to making sure that this will have closed captioning. I do want you to know that you can get all the videos with closed captioning, on our YouTube channel. So thank you so much for asking that question. I do agree that it is very important, that we want to make sure that all of our friends, especially those that might be deaf or hard of hearing, are going to be able to have access to what this information is, as well. So thank you so much for bringing that up.
Lindsey:
All right. So Layla, let’s go through the first slide, and talk to us about some of these activities.
Layla:
Sure. Okay. So, Music To My Ears. Music is definitely something that a lot of our students are interested in. So even just putting on a calming song at the start of your session, and maybe having your student name how many different instruments they can hear. It’s a real easy way to focus our thoughts on one task, in the present moment, rather than a stressful event that happened or that may be approaching.
Layla:
Another activity would be to listen to the sound of the bell, or the clanking of a pot, or any sound that you can make with your hands. And just really focusing your attention on how long you can hear that song or sound for. And how does it feel to just be completely silent and observing that sound? And what do you notice within yourself, at that time? These are the questions we want to ask ourselves, when we’re practicing these skills.
Layla:
Another activity that a lot of students really enjoy, because it’s super tactile, but you’re also focusing on taking those deep breaths, is something that I like to call Take 5. And so, you can start with your right, point your finger and just bring it to your left wrist. And you’re going to trace your left hand with your right finger. Each time you trace up a finger, on the other hand, you’re going to breathe in as your finger climbs up, and breathe out as it slides down.
Layla:
And so, it’s something that’s really fun. Sometimes, our students who are younger, even like to do this with shapes. So whether it’s breathing in as you’re going up a star, and breathing out as you’re going down a star. So we call that shape breathing, as well.
Layla:
Another really great grounding technique, which I use all the time, is 5 Senses. It’s something that most of us can easily tap into. So name five things that you see, four things that you can feel, three things that you can hear, two things that you can smell, and one thing that you can taste. You want to try to describe these things, in as much detail as possible. And it’s really going to help with bringing you into the present moment.
Layla:
There’s also something called a Gatha, which is really just a repetitive phrase that you can use. I slow down and I’m calm. I sit very still, I take deep breaths. I relax and chill. And so, you want to repeat these things to yourself, as an anchor to really stay in the present moment, while you’re doing breath work. And for littler kids, you can change the words. So I breathe in quick, snip, snip, snip. I breathe out slow, there we go.
Layla:
Again, sometimes breathing can be uncomfortable. So there are other activities that we can do, where we focus on different sensations in our body. And just like the one minute breath, you’re able to adapt that to your younger students, as well. They may be taking a hot cocoa breath, where you are envisioning that you’re holding a cup of hot chocolate, and you want to take a deep breath in to cool off that hot cocoa, and blow out. You can do that a couple of times with them, and they really seem to like these activities. You can definitely find these slides after the show, on the Facebook page.
Lindsey:
Those are amazing. So simple and really easy to incorporate, and really adjust it for each different age level, and make it useful for everyone. Thank you so much, for sharing those.
Layla:
Sure.
Lindsey:
And I know, obviously, the best way for kids to learn, is what’s caught not taught. So how can adults role-model mindfulness skills in their daily routine? Because I know that sometimes, that’s a little hurdle for us, as well, because we’re like, “How are we going to fit this in?” So what do you recommend for adults, to really practice these? So that way, children can watch and observe as to what, for them, becomes their new normal.
Layla:
Right. I think just walking through it with children, as you’re doing it. So it could just be, Lindsey, I need to just take a moment right now, to just check in with myself and take a few deep breaths, so that I can settle and focus on what we’re doing. And that’s okay. It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to stop.
Layla:
As therapists, we not only become more compassionate and aware when we start to practice these techniques ourselves, but it really opens up the space that we need, to discover the best approaches that there are for our students. And so, mindfulness is definitely something that’s preventative. And I think it overlaps nicely with what we’re doing in our counseling sessions.
Lindsey:
Oh, I 100% agree. And I really liked the idea that bringing attention to it when we need to, in front of children. So all of our therapists that are watching, especially those that might even have children of your own, so outside of session, tell me in the comments, how are you showing those around you, that you are practicing mindfulness? That you take these pauses and that maybe you need to regroup, or take a minute to calm yourself and be aware of the surroundings.
Lindsey:
I know that a lot of us that are mental health, when we are called to action for any sort of crisis intervention, we are the ones that have to stay as cool as a cucumber in the chaos. But a lot of times, we do have to take that pause, and we do have to take that minute to breathe. And some people feel like that minute is just so long, but when that hits that reset button, then we are able to have our cognitive functioning back, and we are able to go forward and manage the situations in front of us.
Lindsey:
So anybody who has great tips as to what they do, especially in front of children, so that they’re watching, put those in the comments and let us know. Because I definitely want to hear what your tips are, and that way we can share that information.
Layla:
Yeah. And definitely, I think another key point would be that, when we’re working with children, to help demonstrate that we can change our relationships to our thoughts. That there is room and there is space for anxiety, and it’s okay that it’s there, and just really exploring it. Because I know that with a lot of the students that I work with, it’s really easy to avoid these uncomfortable feelings. And of course, if we change our thoughts, good, old cognitive behavioral therapy will change how we feel.
Layla:
But sometimes, like I said before, our thoughts are automatic. And so, it’s just really allowing space for them to be there and changing our relationships, so that they’re less threatening and that, oh, here comes that story again, that I played in my head, over and over again. It’s okay, it’s just a story. Or this is anxiety, where do I feel this in my body? Instead of, this shouldn’t be here and fighting it, just welcoming those uncomfortable feelings.
Layla:
And we can do that by verbalizing, out loud, I’m a little frustrated today, because this had happened. And so, I was saying to myself before, that I need to just work through this frustration. And letting our kids know that we do it, too.
Lindsey:
Right. And I think so many times, we’re so quick to correct children when they are in a state of discomfort, whether they’re crying or they’re sad. And we rush in, to try to help fix that situation, and realize that it’s okay to feel that. We don’t want to label anxiety or depression or sadness or hurt, as good or bad. And just making sure that they’re aware, that this is okay to feel this way. Now, you don’t want to stay here, so we’ll figure out how to get you from point A to point B.
Lindsey:
But just really realizing, and starting at a young age, to let them know that that feeling of anxiety, nervousness, whatever, that it’s not threatening. That just means we have to do something different, if you don’t want to stay in that space. And I think that’s so important.
Lindsey:
And I love that, Elana, thank you so much for sharing about the Calm app. I know that this is one that’s been sent out all the time. A lot of people like to use it. Also, Headspace is a really great tool for students to learn how to take a one minute breath, learn the three minutes, five minutes and 10 minutes, has those increment. So, that one’s really good. It has cartoons. I love cartoons, so it’s great. But yeah, Elana, thank you.
Lindsey:
Anybody else who has an app that they like to use, as well, or they share with others, put those in the comments, too. So that way, we can have additional resources. Any help that we can give with others is also fantastic.
Lindsey:
Well, Layla, thank you so much for joining us on our show today. Do you have any last closing thoughts that you want to give, a parting wisdom to our fabulous fans?
Layla:
Just stick with it. Even if it’s uncomfortable at first, the more you practice, eventually that’s when you’ll start to see the benefits within yourself. Really, this practice can lower stress, increase focus, optimism, self-compassion. So it may not happen immediately, but you’ll notice that with time, it will happen.
Layla:
And so, thank you so much for having me on the show, today. And if anybody has any questions or comments, please feel free to email. I also put together a list of resources, based on students’ ages, as far as books go and apps that they can use. And also, for adults who are just looking to further their practice. So we’ll have that few after the show, as well.
Lindsey:
Absolutely. All of those handouts will be available on the Therapist Hub, so make sure you download those in the file section. Layla, thank you again so much, for joining us. I really appreciate you taking the time.
Layla:
You’re welcome. Thanks, Lindsey, have a great rest of your day.
Lindsey:
And so, great points in regards to the benefits of mindfulness, as well. If you want more information on mindfulness, you want to check out Global Teletherapy’s blog on the GT website. You go to www.globalteletherapy.com. That link’s also going to be in the comment section for you, as well. That has some amazing benefits listed there for you, so you can have additional resources.
Lindsey:
Now, with everything that is going on in today’s world, it can be hard to focus on the positive. So we have created a new segment, called The Positive Message. I’m really excited to roll this out. Let me bring up our slide. Definitely want to get your thoughts on this, as well. So we’re just going to take a moment for a positive message.
Lindsey:
And so, this one comes from our book, from Be Happy by Patrick Lindsay. And it is very fitting for after today’s discussion. It says, “Pause a while. We all need time to reflect, to put things in perspective, to truly value things in our lives, and to appreciate them. To reflect properly, we must be calm and balanced. Put your life on pause, sit on a quiet bench or in a tranquil garden, somewhere you can use without distraction. Calmness and balance will join you there.” So I invite you all to leave a comment about something you value, and we will see you next time on SPEDtalk.
